Comfort Zone or Zone of Complacency

Fuss and nonsense started coming at me yesterday, into the night and all today. I wondered for a moment, only a moment,why. Then I reminded myself that there is no good reason, or rather that there is only one, the enemy of our joy, our peace our being in Christ was doing the dirty on me again. I have been experiencing ongoing challenges over the last 4 years. With encouragement and active intervention I had established a deadline to make a direct turnaround in my position and circumstances. But, on reflection,I was becoming complacent; settling into a situation that needed unsettling. I was beginning to be comfortable in a bad place. Developing a thick skin and accepting LESS THAN.

Did you know that one can become complacent about negativity; that one's comfort zone is not necessarily a comfortable place but a convenient one? I have known for a long time that change is imperative for myself and my children. I always decide to effect the process but ... but then the pressure eases a little. I tell myself, "Don't rush, wait and see. Maybe this is a sign that things will get better from here on out". And sure, the atmosphere is peaceful for a season. But as always,it is only for a while.

There are no changes really, just a pause. I get caught out again. As the waves of hurt and disappointment fill up my heart and mind, I chide myself again, promise myself again, kick and scream again, cry and pray again, moan and whisper to myself about change again. Yet, still the only change I really make is to accommodate the new bruises, find a way to live with the additional wounds, plan and promise that the time will come when God will bring about that change, when I will make that transition. In truth,I have become comfortable with misery, with passive aggression, with veiled rejection, with hidden scorn, with emotional manipulation, with busy isolation, with gilded imprisonment. I have established a comfort zone in enemy territory. God needs me to do something,to listen,to act. I am not so sure what action to take, the best road to walk. The heart wants ...

It is told that when the eagle is ready for its young to fly, it works at making the nest very uncomfortable. Eventually there comes a day when it will actually push the little one out of the nest. The mother waits to catch it before it plummets to its death, swooping in at the last moment. The process is repeated until the young learns to fly. I think that the stirring up of my "comfort zone" has been the preparatory steps by my Heavenly Father to actually propel me out of the nest of (dis)comfort ! In some moments, I am scared, I am sad, hurt even. But God is my Father and although I don't yet understand, I know that this is for my benefit. If that mother eagle, how much more my Heavenly Father will catch me if I fail to fly, to soar as is my inheritance.

Joseph, Son of Israel, could not have saved his family if he had not suffered through enslavement and imprisonment in Egypt. I am not saying I am like Joseph. It's just that on a smaller scale, my situation, my circumstances and the process I am undergoing will work blessings in my life and the life of others, just as it did in the life of Joseph and his family. I am persuaded that God would not make me go through all this stuff for no good reason at all. Weeping may endure for a while but joy comes in the morning. I believe. I am passing through the dawn of my deliverance; morning is just behind the next disappearing star. Hallelujah, Amen!!