A Recipe For Survival

I decided last night to re-read Maya Angelou's book, "A Song Flung Up To Heaven" again. I came across it and it drew me. I finished it and enjoyed every page again. I really admire her body of work; her love affair with life and with words. After my last post, I just wanted to share this. Actually it's a quote from James Baldwin that Maya quotes ... Be Blessed. Here it is - speaking of Black People on the day Martin Luther King Jnr. was killed;

" We survived slavery: Think about that. Not because we were strong. The American Indians were strong, and they were on their own land. But they have not survived genocide. You know how we survived?"

"We put surviving into our poems and into our songs. We put it into our folk tales. We danced surviving in Congo Square in New Orleans and put it into our pots when we cooked pinto beans. We wore surviving on our backs when we clothed ourselves in the colors of the rainbow. We were pulled down so low we could hardly lift our eyes, so we knew, if we wanted to survive, we had better lift our own spirits. So we laughed whenever we got the chance."

This is beautiful and this is truth ... and what is more my friends, I know that God laughs with us too!

Does God Laugh Too?

My cousin's beautiful grand-baby with the laughter that is fresh from the Lord on her lips! - Being held by my brother who is clearly infected by her pure joy of life!

I just heard from a friend that I have been out of contact with for 4 years now. I think of her often and miss her tremendously. Her email was almost as good as having her right next to me - I started reading and I began smiling. The more I read from her the bigger my smile became until I found myself laughing right out loud! She has always been able to make me laugh, always. Even if I don't feel much like it. When I am around her and she finds something that tickles her sense of humour or fires her imagination - which is just so vivid especially when it comes to romantic takes - her extremely infectious laughter has me in stitches before long. It is just impossible to hear her laughter and remain sullen, sad or serious. Of course once I get started, the tears start rolling down my cheeks and pretty soon I need to search for a bathroom!! I am totally reduced to a big 'ole mess of jelly!!

My friend reminds me of my mother. She was another of those individuals with a terrific sense of humour and one of those highly infectious laughs! I miss her too. She passed away many, many years ago but I can still hear her laughter and see her doubled up with the sheer joy of the moment; holding her tummy when she got going. I remember that even if she was so far away that I could not actually, physically see her, once she started laughing she could be heard over a long distance. And one could not help joining in, although unaware of the specifics. It would start with a chuckle and quickly grow into outright laughter. Laughter is one of the few infectious things that one is happy to catch. I know I am! I love a really good dose of laughter. So this made me wonder today, does God laugh too? And if He does, what makes Him laugh??

Well according to Psalms 2:4 God does indeed laugh. But the reason for His laughter is somewhat different to the main reason I laugh,I think ... or is it? The psalmist David writes that the One Who dwells in heaven laughs at the foolish efforts of evil men to destroy His people. The utter futility of their planning and persuasion believing they can possibly prevail against the protection, power and providence of the Almighty Creator of all, must seem ridiculous indeed to our God. The Creator, Who knows the beginning from the end, Who is the creator of even those who strive against Him! Think about it, it must appear as ridiculous to God as a dog trying to catch it's tail seems to us! At first take, it seems that God's laughter is only ominous and is directed only at those foolish enough to go against Him. However, on reflection I can completely see why our Heavenly Father laughs. I see the same foolish pursuit of the saints every day by our enemy and wonder, does he not know that he has already lost?! Why does he not read the Book of Revelation and see that all his evil plots and plans fail and those who are his agents, his supporters fail, along with him? Yes,God is justified in laughing and in "holding them in derision"!!

There is a Yiddish rhyme that says "Ah mentch tracht, und Gut lacht" - "Man plans, and God laughs". We should take this to heart and realize that the only certainty there is in our lives is that the will and purpose of God will be accomplished. Stressing out is futile, relying on our own so-called reasoning while ignoring divine guidance is foolishness, and walking a path other than that directed and ordered by the Lord is certain destruction. So we need to make the choice for Good and for God. We surely want Him to delight in us, not laugh at our futile rebellion against Him and His way. I want God to laugh with me the same way I laughed with my mother or with my friend; in an intimate, shared delight.

But the revelation of the Holy Spirit to me on this point goes beyond the doctrinal exposition just stated. It is a simple, overwhelming truth, an immense honour and blessing beyond compare. It is quite simply this;we have and will continue to hear God's laughter if we listen, carefully. It happens all about us, all the time. In the sounds of a hungry child that has just been fed the first meal in days and can think of playing instead of crying. In the merry discourse and joy of women returning with full jars of clean water from a newly sunken well to look after their families. In the whoops of delight experienced by a man just released from slavery after years of oppression and pain by a cruel slave-master. The prisoner, the sick, the naked, the lonely, the heartbroken, the bereaved and all those to whom we have just shared the heart of the Christ; whose joy and delight is beyond words. If we listen with our spirits we can hear the Father's pleasure as He laughs in utter delight and love.

I saw my cousin Pat's grand-baby recently, after a couple weeks of not seeing her. I bent over her push chair and said "Hello beautiful girl". She was so tickled, for some reason, she began to laugh. A beautiful, pure, innocent and refreshing laughter that rang through the hallways of the church. It seemed her laughter was way over the top in comparison to my simple hello. But in that laugh was the pure, sweet laughter of my Lord. A pure sound that reached straight to the depths of my spirit, and lifted me to a higher plane of happiness than I was feeling prior to this encounter. It was the joyous sound of my God and my Lord, telling me all is well. I know this to be divine revelation. So,I advise you to listen. He/she that has ears, let them hear. Next time the sound of laughter reaches your ear, your heart, your spirit, know that it might just be our God laughing with you!! And His laughter is infectious too!! Blessings and Laughter. LadyZaidie

Let the weak say, "I am Strong"

Last night I got scared. Last night my sons got scared. Last night we were all so scared again that I sinned. My oldest son sinned. I was trying to protect us,again. He was trying to protect us, again. But we sinned. Again. After the storm was averted, my son asked me, "Mom,aren't you a strong woman?" "Yes", I said, "I am a strong woman". "OK" he said,somewhat satisfied perhaps, as he walked away. But since he left me,I have been pondering this question for a few hours now. Am I a strong woman? What exactly does it mean and do I really believe, know that I am a strong woman? Did I answer my son correctly?

Tonight, like so many other times, I was faced by a situation that we had experienced many, many times before. Do I face up to it, to the consequences and all. Or do I try everything in my power to avoid going through all the hurt and humiliation that it entails. I had no strength for this battle again, no strength for the wounds that would be inflicted;no strength to nurse my children's hurt and restore their confidence. I had no strength tonight. I wanted peace. The children wanted peace tonight. I was a weak woman tonight and I had made my children weak also. I had relied on self in the moment. And in the moment I had failed my Lord, myself and my children. I had sinned and so had my son. Our eternity was lost in a moment of fear; the fear of a man. Human strength had failed me and my son. Our faith was placed in our own ability to fight the enemy's attack. And of ourselves, we failed. "But if we sin, we have an Advocate with the Father". "Where sin abounds, grace much more abounds". Thank God for Jesus. Thank God for Grace.

In truth, I am weak. I have never had any strength of my own. I know this full well. "Not by might,nor by power but by my Spirit", says the Lord. It is only His Spirit, His love, His word that has kept me and my children through the severest trials and testings I have ever faced in my life in the last few years. But, "Let the weak say I am strong!". Hallelujah!!

The answer to the question then is YES. I AM STRONG. I AM A STRONG WOMAN. Not by myself, not my own strength but by and through the mercy of my Saviour Jesus. My sons and I will have this discussion later in the morning. We will not respond to fear by sinning, we will not seek to be safe by sinning, we will not allow the enemy to intimidate us, corner us like wounded animals so that we sin against our God, again. We will look at such situations squarely and we will keep our peace. We will allow the Lord to fight our battle. He is our true strength; always,in all situations,at all times. Next time we will be prepared; we will be ready to be more than conquerors through Christ Jesus, our Lord.

Blessings & Peace. Ladyzaidie

Pennies To and From Heaven!

He was just so excited when he told me of his latest discovery. "Mom I think that we might be able to get lots of money". "How Zac, what's happened?" I asked with a strong suspicion that he had come up with another "grand idea" on supplementing our almost non-existent funds. You see Zac is a very caring and protective young man of 11 years going on 40; bless his little cotton socks!. He takes note of everything, even when one is totally unaware he is within earshot. Consequently it was only a matter of time; very little time in his case, that he would become conscious of the fact that money is in very short supply with his mom these last days! I have tried real hard to make it seem a manageable issue that is best left to my endeavors, but Zac cannot help but offer up advice and suggestions on a very regular basis.

In fact he and his brother have even gone so far as to use some pocket money they were given, to purchase one of those money-making packages advertised on TV for me. We returned the whole 'kit and caboodle' recognising it for the gimmick it was in reality. Still, my baby persists in his quest to make us money. Today, his new quest to make money from selling old coins was just like so many other days and other ideas. I do not discourage his creativity or his efforts. We usually talk them through, investigate the viability, weigh up the pros and cons and decide if there is any substance in the idea.

Today, Zac found a penny dated 1945. "Mom, we can probably get some money for this penny, it is so old. And remember on "Bones"(TV series)there was a coin that was worth a $100,000.00 because it was from the 1930's!" Yes I did recall. So now we will go to the bank to check out the 1945 penny next week,at Zac's insistence. In the meantime,he is continuing to pick up coins lying around the place, he said, "just in case, you never know mommy!!"

I love that childlike trust in possibilities. The possibility that a penny could change our lives for the better if only we find the right one. And you know,Zac is right on so many levels. But for now let me just remind you all and myself of the widow's mite. An offering so insignificant as to almost bring shame to the giver for not having more to give. But oh what an offering,and what an example of sacrificial love, faith and faithfulness! So much so that our Lord Jesus remarked on the weight that such a seemingly small offering carried in the heavens because of what it signified.

I pray that we all place such significance on our penny, our mite, our millions when it comes to a demonstration of love, faith and obedience to God. Obedience to the law of love;to give our best to God,to give sacrificially. And also to give to our neighbors in need wherever in the world they might be. Our possibilities and the prospects of those who are blessed by our pennies will be multiplied by God and returned to us, as showers of blessings in all areas of our lives. So let us give our pennies, however many or few, as a reasonable sacrifice and watch as the Bank Manager opens up the windows of His Kingdom and pour out His blessings on us so there is not even enough room to receive them.

Obedience & Blesings. LadyZaidie. PS I am still using my friend's computer while I wait ...

My Computer is Gone!!

I did promise. I promised to keep my blog up to date. I promised to let everyone who has a chance to read my blog share my experiences of God in the details of my life. I am so sorry but I have not been keeping my promises in a way that I hoped. It's just that my computer died on me. It made some weird whirring noises, then it started to smell and then it rattled to a dead stop. Kaput! Almost all my data lost. My main connection to friends and family has suffered, big time. My job-huntingrelentlessly pursued online each morning and evening for 2 years is now puntuated by an exclamation and a question mark!? I know that most everyone will agree that a car , a computer with internet access and a cell phone have become basic essentials of modern living.

Despite the absence of a personal cell phone I do pretty OK. The internet allows reasonably speedy communication with everyone. Now if you all read my blog you know that my car recently went on vacation. But at least I knew that it would be back. Now my computer has died, so as would be expected, I am in mourning. Such loss!! Loss of convenience, of ease, of the links, the connections, the updates etc all at my fingertips ... GONE!!

But hold on for a minute before you get overly sad and sympathetic. The really neat thing is this; even if I had no car, no computer, no cell phone, or any kind of phone for that matter, no pens and paper to write, no tin cans and cord, I would still be connected to, able to communicate with the most powerful Being in all the worlds, at any time,with total ease,with an absence of panic,fear or haste. That is just so awesome! None of man's technology needed to access our Father in heaven!! We can speak to Him as often as we want to. We can talk for as long as our heart desires at no cost. And you know what's even more awesome, all the things that have become technological necessities are supplied to us by Him!!

So excuse me while I get off this borrowed computer and get back to more downtime with the Supreme, Sovereign Ruler of all the universes. Meet you at the Throne of Grace and Divine Glory. Wow, talk about advance technolgy right within my power to use!! Blessings, Love & Happy Communion!! The LadyZaidie

Comfort Zone or Zone of Complacency

Fuss and nonsense started coming at me yesterday, into the night and all today. I wondered for a moment, only a moment,why. Then I reminded myself that there is no good reason, or rather that there is only one, the enemy of our joy, our peace our being in Christ was doing the dirty on me again. I have been experiencing ongoing challenges over the last 4 years. With encouragement and active intervention I had established a deadline to make a direct turnaround in my position and circumstances. But, on reflection,I was becoming complacent; settling into a situation that needed unsettling. I was beginning to be comfortable in a bad place. Developing a thick skin and accepting LESS THAN.

Did you know that one can become complacent about negativity; that one's comfort zone is not necessarily a comfortable place but a convenient one? I have known for a long time that change is imperative for myself and my children. I always decide to effect the process but ... but then the pressure eases a little. I tell myself, "Don't rush, wait and see. Maybe this is a sign that things will get better from here on out". And sure, the atmosphere is peaceful for a season. But as always,it is only for a while.

There are no changes really, just a pause. I get caught out again. As the waves of hurt and disappointment fill up my heart and mind, I chide myself again, promise myself again, kick and scream again, cry and pray again, moan and whisper to myself about change again. Yet, still the only change I really make is to accommodate the new bruises, find a way to live with the additional wounds, plan and promise that the time will come when God will bring about that change, when I will make that transition. In truth,I have become comfortable with misery, with passive aggression, with veiled rejection, with hidden scorn, with emotional manipulation, with busy isolation, with gilded imprisonment. I have established a comfort zone in enemy territory. God needs me to do something,to listen,to act. I am not so sure what action to take, the best road to walk. The heart wants ...

It is told that when the eagle is ready for its young to fly, it works at making the nest very uncomfortable. Eventually there comes a day when it will actually push the little one out of the nest. The mother waits to catch it before it plummets to its death, swooping in at the last moment. The process is repeated until the young learns to fly. I think that the stirring up of my "comfort zone" has been the preparatory steps by my Heavenly Father to actually propel me out of the nest of (dis)comfort ! In some moments, I am scared, I am sad, hurt even. But God is my Father and although I don't yet understand, I know that this is for my benefit. If that mother eagle, how much more my Heavenly Father will catch me if I fail to fly, to soar as is my inheritance.

Joseph, Son of Israel, could not have saved his family if he had not suffered through enslavement and imprisonment in Egypt. I am not saying I am like Joseph. It's just that on a smaller scale, my situation, my circumstances and the process I am undergoing will work blessings in my life and the life of others, just as it did in the life of Joseph and his family. I am persuaded that God would not make me go through all this stuff for no good reason at all. Weeping may endure for a while but joy comes in the morning. I believe. I am passing through the dawn of my deliverance; morning is just behind the next disappearing star. Hallelujah, Amen!!

Noah Is Back!

Noah is working perfectly again! The new ignition cylinder 'thingey' has been fitted, covers replaced and we are rolling again! I don't have to be extra cautious, extra conscious of every little move, every action that I take because I am driving another car that does not belong to me. My car has come back to me working nicely. You see Noah is the name of my car! I always give my car a name and usually the names are female names. All except for my present car, Noah. I waited for over one year after arriving in the USA to get a car. I had no freedom to come and go as I pleased. There is no public transport available where I am living. So when I got my car I was overjoyed. Freedom of movement;I was no longer a slave to the kindness of others in getting around town. I did not immediately think of naming my car. It just happened one day. The name Noah came out and no other name seemed as suited,so I settled with Noah.

Why Noah I wondered. From the Bible Noah reminds me of the Ark;the fauna,flora and fowl species of the earth's rescue,the deluge and the saving of the human family - Noah's family. But why did my spirit associate my car with Father Noah? As a man, Noah found favor in the eyes of God and was given the commission to preach God's law,love and justice to a corrupt society of people as well as to build the vessel that would protect and preserve many of earth's present lifeforms. The Ark was the physical manifestation, a type/symbol of Christ,that secured the future of humankind by keeping the race alive. Noah's obedience is the reason we are physically here today. Jesus' obedience is the reason that we have a chance of eternal life and a relationship with God now.

In the Hebrew the name Noah means comfort,rest,quiet. I don't know about you but in more ways than one, Noah reminds me of the Saviour. I always find comfort,rest and quiet in the presence of the Lord,in His words,in His promises,in His love,in Him. Whatever I need to maintain my peace, my rest, my comfort,He provides. Without a car I had no freedom, no peace of mind. The Lord provided my car and to me that was another symbol of His love for me, His care for my well being. God had shown Himself merciful to me again. He had manifested His interest in everything that disturbs or concerns me.

Maybe, there is some other deep,profound reason that I felt inspired to name an inanimate object, my car, Noah. I am not ruling it out. But I do know,every time I say Noah,I think of the everlasting covenant of which I am a beneficiary; the covenant that promises that God will never leave nor forsake me, that I am His own daughter ...the LadyZaidie